Emotionally Handicapped
by YoungAndLiving
Summary: I thought I understood what he meant when he said he was 'Emotionally Handicapped'. I had thought most of it had been a joke. But apparently not. Rose&Scorpius


Disclaimer: I don't own anything, otherwise, would I bother writing fanfiction? I think not...

Emotionally Handicapped

See the real thing about Scorpius is...well he's never had to be the one to feel something. He didn't have to ever feel that bone crushing feeling of sadness, because he never cared about anything. Not that much anyway. He already had too many people looking down on him for being a Malfoy so he just didn't bother to feel at all, because if he did, about the only thing he'd feel was rejection.

I knew that. At least, I thought I did. I thought I understood what he meant when he said he was 'Emotionally Handicapped'. I had thought most of it had been a joke.

But apparently not.

Because when he asked if I loved him, and I said yes. All he said...

Well, all he said was "Okay,".

Okay. Not, I love you too. Not even a smile. Just "Okay".

And when I looked at him, I knew he wasn't going to say anything else. I knew he wouldn't give me anything but approval, and I already knew he didn't reciprocate my feelings.. So I decided if there was a time to tell, it was now.

But I really didn't want to say it.

I didn't want to see him hurt.

I didn't want to see him okay with it either.

I just wanted him to love me, like I loved him.

"He's not lying you know," I told him as we walked, our hands intertwined. His so cold, but still so soft.

"Who?" He asked, confusion evident, his hand gripping mine, just a little tighter.

"Nott," I told him simply. With that he stop walking and looked at me. His face was no longer confused, but now almost impassive.

"Nott?" I nodded. "You mean...You mean that you and him-" He broke off, not saying anything else.

I nodded. "You...cheated on me?" Scorpius sounded like he'd been hit by a bludger. "You cheated on me. With Nott." I nodded. "My best friend." He clarified. "And what the hell do you think made that okay?" His words sounded harsh, but his tone... Was as if he was already bored with the conversation.

At this point we were facing each other, and we were already five minutes late for Potions, and bound to get detention.

"What doesn't?" I asked, almost trying to bait him now.

"The fact that you love me. The fact that you and ME are dating, not you and Nott," He was counting off his fingers, saying all this like it was a grocery list. "But not even to mention that he's my best mate."

I looked at him, giving him the same look that people gave me, just for being with Malfoy. A look that held disappointment, embarrassment, and disgust, all in one. "Hell of a best mate he is," I told him. "Of course, what's really funny is that he didn't even lie to you. He told you straight, and yet you thought it was a joke. What's weirder is I'm not sure if you even know what a joke is."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I can't remember the last time you actually smiled."

"That's crap, Rosie, and you know it. Now you're just making up excuses." Emotion started to trickle into Scorpius's words, making it sound as if he almost...cared.

I started to speak again. "Neither of us have been happy for weeks..."

"I hadn't noticed anything..."

"We haven't had a real conversation in months..."

"Well newts have been coming up..."

"And whenever I see you, you don't want to see me..."

"Just because I haven't been totally attentive..."

"And I everyone hates me because of you..."

"Who cares what they think?"

"And everyone-"

At this Scorpius face cracked, and fury poured out. "That doesn't give you the right to cheat on me!" He practically yelled.

I was taken aback. From when they had started going out, Scorpius had not once yelled, or poured that much emotion into anything.

"I loved you!" He continued. "I fucking loved you! And what? I deserve this? I deserve you. Cheating on me?" He gripped her shoulders and shook her. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I sent him a nasty glare. "It's not like you ever told me that!"

"I shouldn't have had to!" He gave me a look full of desperation. "You are the only girl I've lasted with for over two weeks. I told you things about me no one else does. I told you- I told you the one thing. The one thing that I try to not think about. And what? Do you think I've told every bird that? Hmm? You think anyone else has ever fit me as completely as you do?"

My body froze, and I stood, completely shocked, not knowing what to say.. "You knew!" He told me. "You know that I don't know how to voice how I feel half the time, so what? Did you just forget that, and shag my BEST MATE?"

I took a step back and observed Scorpius. He kept running his hands through his hair, making it stick up all over. His eyes were crazed.

"I didn't know... I didn't-"

"No, you thought what everyone else thinks. Isn't that right? You thought I wasn't worth your time."

The expression that I was granted was one that made me want to crawl back into bed, and maybe wait another hundred years before coming back out.

"You knew I loved you. Don't deny it. You knew it, and you made an excuse. But see the thing is Rose, everyone thought that I wasn't worth your time, but you and me know the truth." He paused, taking in a breath before speaking something that would tear him up, more than anyone knew. "You weren't mine."

He made move to turn, but I grabbed his arm. "Please Scorpius-" I pleaded with him.

Then he spoke the words that made my life turn upside down. "Weasley, if you would please let go of my arm, I somewhere better to be."

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><p>A time ago, Scorpius told him that he was 'Emotionally Handicapped'. Neither of us had realized at the time how handicapped I had been. How damaged I was. How damaged I am.<p>

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><p>Like it? Hate it? More?<p>

Let me know!

~YoungAndLiving


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